Last week was a tough one for me. I’ve been struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel and when I received notice that another music festival was cancelled, I just broke down. This is our life. This is everything we have worked for for years. This is what we live for. What if we can’t go back to the way it was ever again? For the first time in 2 months, that feeling just consumed me, the weight of everything that has been happening. I felt sad, mad, hopeless and scared all at the same time.
I let it out and allowed myself to feel it all… I needed to truly feel it.
The world we have created is not sustainable and that is becoming more and more clear with each day that passes. We’re all processing that revelation in our own ways, which right now makes it appear that we are not in agreement. I’m frustrated by the amount of division I’m seeing amongst my friends, our community and the world. It’s times like these that we need unity, coming together to support and care for each other. But that does not seem to be what is happening. Instead we’re still bickering and arguing and letting the media and the internet form our opinions for us. In a moment when the entire world is experiencing the same thing - together - we are still trying to find something to fight over.
But make no mistake, we’re all processing the same thing - Grief. We’re grieving the loss of a life we had all become very comfortable in and one that we know deep down we can’t return to.
I don’t know what the future has in store for us. I don’t know if we will be able to go back to the way it was. I don’t know when I will feel okay about sending my husband, my dad and my brothers out to a crowded venue for a gig without the fear of them getting sick. I don’t know how we will sustain our lives with a complete loss of our livelihoods. There is so much that I don’t know and it is really hard and its ok to admit that. It’s ok to be honest about what it real and true. It’s ok to recognize that things are not ok. It’s ok to not be ok.
None of us know what is coming. No one can predict the future and no one knows for sure what the answers are, but we’re all grieving together. Each of us are seeing this through the lens of our own set of circumstances and we are all struggling with our own fears, but ultimately we are in it together.
So I guess I just want to say this - now is the time to give yourself and the world some grace. Be kind, understand that you may have already moved through some of your grief, but others are still angry or in denial. We have to let everyone process in their own time. That doesn’t mean you can’t be frustrated with the way people are handling things, I definitely have been. But in the midst of your frustration, don’t forget that grief is hard and it makes people behave in ways that you might not understand. This is our collective grieving and we need show up for each other.
